Chaos Is Fundamental, Peace Is Overrated

    "What our life is, is a combination of a certain amount of time and energy. Time is rolling away for all of us at the same pace... If you do something, it goes away, and if you dont do anything, it still goes away. [Whether] you're happy or miserable, it goes away. Time is running out for all of us. Its only the energy that you can do things with. If you bring your energy to a different level of intensity and possibility, what someone does in 10 years you may do it in 1 year. This means, if you live here for 100 years, it would feel like to people that you have lived here for a thousand years, simply because you have managed your life energies in a certain way." - Sahd Guru 

    Time and time again, I have referred to a sense of "peace" that I have found at the end of each chapter of my life. It's quite a typical and trendy thing to say, although completely appropriate. It is vexing how overused the concept of peace currently is in our internet society though, almost dismissive of anything opposing. I once said that people need inconsistency as much as they crave consistency (5 Interesting Theories About Humanity), in a very familiar way, people also need chaos as much as they crave peace. 

    From the very beginning of time and all things that made it relative, chaos was present. An analogy that I will try to stick to throughout this selection is the unraveling of the Big Bang theory that sparked the creation of the universe. I cannot say for sure if peace came first before the chaos because they both very much exist in relative to each other, like the paradox of the chicken and the egg and which came first. However, this approach assumes that there wasn't anything else other than peace or chaos, unlike the chicken who had evolution on her side. We learn early on that we don't know peace until we know chaos, and the minute we get a taste of both, we automatically start to favor peace- my whole issue is, how do people value the peace that they do without showing equal value to the chaos that they don't?

1. Is chaos or peace universal?

Chaos by definition is disorder, but in many other fields, its something else entirely. In physics, chaos is the formless matter that existed before the creation of the universe, reflective of Greek mythological god Chaos who was the first being ever created. In math, Chaos is a theory that explains the sensitivity in systems and formulas that causes drastic changes and transformations following underlying patterns, interconnections, loops, and constant feedback. Peace on the other hand, is order- a freedom from disturbance, utter tranquility. Peace is a concept carved by humans from chaos. peace was born from chaos in the sense that all that was in disorder has been called to order. This idea of peace rejects the complexity of chaos, it rejects that there is consistency in the confusion, simply because there is no other semantic term for it. If all that chaos entailed was taken into account, peace would mean stillness as the opposite of chaos, simply because there IS an order in everything. Chaos only looks random, but it is not, and humans are incapable of deciphering the numbers of the cosmos, so we find alternatives more comprehensible to our consciousness. 

Often times, I think peace was a term coined from a desire to stop time, to relive moments, and to hold on to things that are often fleeting to our humane hands- a desire for stillness. As long as we inhabit this space in the universe, humans will never know what they seek for in peace. We are matters in this space and fundamentally, this space only exists because there is time, and time only exists for us because we inhabit this space. In that sense, peace represents a selfish desire to keep this space without time, or to keep the time without the space. Death is the only peace we know in our existence, because it is only then that we stop being part of the cosmos, it is only then that our consciousness cease to partake in the chaos, and it is only then that we cease to be matter in this space-time. 

2. Can chaos or peace be an interpersonal correlation between beings

I will love your pain till they don't hurt no more. I will play with your demons till they don't haunt you no more. I will love every single crevice of your pitch black heart till you let some light in, and you will see- no one else can love you like I do.

 Every single matter that exists on this universal plane is part of the cosmos. Humans like to categorize things to give themselves a sense of control when in reality, we are only a barely visible speck of all that there is. The things humanity managed to create and put together, they all belong to the cosmos. Tvhere might be some being out in the universe who is doing it ten times better than we are or there might not- the point is, we are not in control. We are merely borrowing time, space, and consciousness- I say "borrow," because we don't keep it forever, we pass on eventually. Humanity took a long time to arrive, and consciousness even later. Our curiosity is direct proof that the answers never belonged to us, we are only learning as we go. The more we learn of this chaos that is the cosmos, the more we attempt to give it a pattern, find peace in it, and that's where all our humane inventions come into play. What is humanity's inventions if not an attempt to find order and peace? We attempt to make life easier because it is too chaotic. We attempt to conquer the unknowns because it is too chaotic. We attempt to "colonize" because that which is "primitive" is too chaotic. In truth, the cosmos is primitive, the universe is primitive, this space-time we inhabit is primitive because chaos is primitive. We are part of this chaos. We are primitive. Our consciousness is primitive. Humanity like to hold themselves higher than the primitive nature of the universe and for what? There is nothing else aside from what is there already to strive for? What really can we put back in this universe that does not already belong to it?

There is no correlation between chaos and peace because there is no such thing as peace or stillness. There is only chaos, there is only infinite patterns, and infinite energy because the universe is infinite. Infinity negates the concept of peace altogether. Peace is an illusion over hyped by humanity because we have failed to be understanding towards chaos. We would rather create our own narratives and allow them to situate us in this universe. We would rather create our own beliefs far more complex to understand than the cosmos simply because of the lack of reasoning. We feel better with that because we control it. There is no correlation between humanity and the universe because we refuse to. In fact, the only reason were so comfortable with science is because there is reasoning, yet we refuse to think that this reasoning can be applied on a scale much grander than what we can control; and so, the average of humanity put their faith in their religion instead, because that is a narrative that they can control. It is far easier for humanity to believe that God is real than it is to question his existence, simply because we aren't capable of scaling all the matters in existence. 

3. The chaos and peace of an empath

The depth you love so much wasn't universally created at the beginning of my time. It was bulldozed and dug out over and over again until it was deep enough to drown in and big enough to hold all my demons.

As humans we do what comes most natural to us, first and foremost. No matter how we dress ourselves up, we are still primal beings at the very core of our nature- primal beings with consciousness. We will never cease to be primitive as long as we can feel emotions. Having emotions means there is energy inside us. That energy is borrowed from the universe, though our bodies and the fire of our consciousness dies out, our energy manifests itself and projects itself into other beings. Whether it be love, anger, sadness, pain, etc. we have the inane ability to feel it, pass it on, share it, or withhold it. When people say "that's what it means to be human," they do not realize just how accurate that statement is. Our ability to process energies in the form of emotions is what makes us primal beings. If we were so controlled and in control constantly, we wouldn't be able to feel our feelings.  We wouldn't be able to empathize and share, and thus we might not be able to procreate simply because we would not be able to process intimacy. Procreation is, in my opinion the most primal act that humans can make- because it is in that moment, where we let go of our control and our reasons, and our energies sparks in total surrender to each other. Isn't that why humans crave intimacy? Is that not why we lust? Fundamentally, our attraction is our energy recognizing each other and in that process, we taste what it's like to let go, to lose control, to be in the chaos, to simply be primitive- and we call something as natural as feeling "pleasure" because everything else we created brings pain and more often than not, goes against what we want to feel. We find so many reasons to not find pleasure in other areas of our lives because we think we know what it means to be ourselves, yet we do not understand what it means to be human beings. Our consciousness can sometimes limit us to the bare minimum of what we can achieve, feel, and discover. 

Yet, it is through these misunderstandings that we pave our way to a position where we are able to understand more; whether or not we realize. When we go against our nature, we create chaos within ourselves, and with that we create opportunities to know ourselves better. What are we if not chaotic? When an individual finally feels "at peace" in their minds and their hearts, it is not actually peace- it is the order within their chaos that they have found. By its very definition, peace would entail that we don't move on, we just become still. It is not possible. We need these self-provoked misunderstandings to feel our chaos more, to lose more control each time, and to be able to process our emotions properly. There is an order to the chaos that is you, learn that chaos, love that chaos and live in that chaos. It is not disorder and it is not meant to destabilize you. It is growth, and it means to keep you growing. 

Society has desensitized and redefined a lot of the core concepts of living. Its understandable, a society needs a system. However, as individuals who think, feel and do many things on a day to day basis, to keep up with live-in standards of the system, it is truly up to us to take responsibility for our feelings, our projections, and our outputs. We must hold ourselves accountable for our chaos and the understanding of it. When we seek for peace, we are really seeking to know ourselves better. We don't give enough credit to the chaos, because we hold ourselves above that chaos not recognizing that it is us and we are it. 

-All love, JVL